One clear sign that times are tough is when people start mowing their own lawns. Â As money becomes tighter we are forced to look for areas where we can cut back. Â Today this was my reality. Through thisÂ traumaticÂ experience I’ve learned a few things about money, life, love, hard work, and lawn care technology.
Take the jump to see the rest of this gruesome photo, and to get the details of what I learned today…
When I was a teen I mowed lawns for money. Â I mowed the church lawn – which was like an acre. Â I also mowed our back yard lawn – which was like an acre. Â Then my dad would get me jobs mowing other people lawns. Â One of the things I liked about mowing the lawn was that since we didn’t bag the grass, it gave me lots of time to think and plan. Â Something I did a lot of when I was younger.
Today was probably the first time I’ve mowed a lawn since the 80’s. That’s somewhere between 20 and 30 years if you’re counting. Â Again, this time mowing did give me some time to think… mostly about how I hope to never do it again.
Ok.. I know what you’re thinking… it’s a small lawn! Â Well, the photo doesn’t show everything. Â There’s more on the sides and back.
1. Mowing the Lawn Tastes Like Dirt
My back yard is out of control. Â It’s dead and mostly dirt and weeds. Â I didn’t get a photo of it, but lets just say that running a mower over dirt creates quite a dust cloud. Â Sucks! Â So of course that’s going to fill your mouth and nose with dirt. Â But one thing I learned today is that basically all mowing tastes like dirt. Â I don’t like dirt.
2. Lawn Mower Technology Hasn’t Really Changed in 50 years
Ok.. is this the same mower I was using back in the 80’s? Â You’d think that by now there’d be some new technology to make this job less dreadful. Â The bag kept falling off the back and every time it did I had to stop the mower, put the bag back on and restart it. Â Oh and by the way, you still start it by pulling a string real hard. Where are the lasers? Â I’d suggest Dyson take a whack at designing a better mower, but if he did I’d be compelled to buy it and the job would still suck.
3. I’m Extremely Out of Shape
See how my lawn is on a slight hill? Â Wow! Â Just look at the photo. Â I’ve got nothing more to say in this category.
4. I Still Need Help From My Dad
“DAD! The mower won’t start!… I just can’t get it to start again…” Â “Oh… It’s out of gas? .. I see.. OK.”
5. I’mÂ AllergicÂ to Dust and Grass – AKA: I’m a Sissy
Did I mention that mowing tastes like dirt? Â I have allergies and mowing kicks up dust and particles of grass and pollen and stuff and it kills my sinuses. Â Not to mention the whole dumping the bag thing. Â Ok, I admit that I’m a bit of a sissy and don’t like working outdoors. Â OR sleeping outdoors. Â OR playing outdoors for that matter. Â Basically I don’t like the outdoors. Â And camping.. well it doesn’t make me a happy camper. Â In Jim Gaffigan’s last comedy special he does a bit about how much he hates camping. He has this to say:
In case you’re wondering, my outdoor exception is water. Â A pool would be nice. Â I’ll have to get rid of the dirt field out back and put in a nice pool. Â Yeah!
6. Surely I Can Raise the Money to Pay Someone Else To Do This
I think the main thing I thought about today was that I don’t want to ever do this again. Â For $75 a month I can pay someone else to do it and they’ll do a MUCH better job that I would. Â That’s only $2.50 a day. Â Well, $2.50 a day IS about $2.49 a day more than I make off of ads on this here website. Â So I’ll have to come up with some other revenue stream. Â But recession or not, it now a priority.
When’s the last time you mowed a lawn?